“I want to be a millionaire!”
“I want to weigh 130lbs!”
“I want to be a better mother!”
“I want to travel more!”
“I want to have a clean and organized house!”
“I want to be healthier!”
“I want to be my best at…”
We wanted similar success as the examples above as long as we can remember and with each year our wants grew overwhelmingly. We realize as we reflect back on previous success milestones, accomplished goals and dreams that turned into reality – that each one was the result of deep-rooted belief; belief that each of us deserved it and most importantly, we knew why we deserved it.
How many of you have “wants” in your life that you have not achieved? Now, contrast that with the “wants” in your life that you have achieved. What is the difference?
The difference lies in BELIEF.
How do you know what you really believe in? I mean truly KNOW?
How many times have you “believed” something that didn’t happen? Maybe you believed you’d make a big change, land that job or lose the bad habit… and then you didn’t, even though you thought this time was it!
The reason this happens comes from a few sources all surrounding the origins of your belief set and levels of belief. Any hidden (or present) doubts about what you want or deserve in your life and those doubts, no matter how big or small, will ALWAYS win over positive belief if they consume your subconscious ways.
So, how do you control your belief levels? Or raise your positive belief levels?
We learned something from the international best-selling author, coach and success guru Kevin Trudeau, something called a “Teach-ability Index”. Your teach-ability index is composed of 2 things:
- Your willingness to learn
- Your willingness to accept change
When willingness to learn aligns with willingness to change – you will find yourself in a success “sweet spot”.
Let’s scale these from 1 to 10. If your willingness to learn something new is a 10 out of 10, but your willingness to change is a 1 out of 10 the reality is there will not be success in learning something new.
Or maybe your willingness to change is a 10 out of 10 to get healthy. You’re all in! So, you make time for the gym, invest in healthy and higher quality food, increase your water intake and cut to lower sugar. However, your willingness to learn is a zero. Meaning, you don’t listen to your fitness trainer’s technique. You think you know a “better” way. You don’t learn what foods your body actually needs, because you believe that you’re working out and that alone cancels out the bad calories, right? With this unwillingness to learn, your physical transformation will take dramatically longer, if at all and be far more frustrating forcing you to believe and realize, it’s not possible. Once again, instilling your beliefs that you started with.
When you look at each of your goals, desires and plans in your life with a 10 out 10 attitude paired with a 10 out of 10 belief set- you will always succeed. The success will take both and YES, it will take work.
This process isn’t always easy, haven’t we learned by now life takes work daily? It takes a lot of consciousness and self-awareness activities to find out where any belief gaps may be. We love this term that fellow mompreneur and author, Rachel Cronin uses.
For example, Brooke is often a 10 out of 10 willingness to learn. And she thinks she is a 10 out of 10 willingness to accept change. But then, she notices she is not doing the things she knows she should be doing. She gets frustrated that she has the knowledge, but not always the actions to fulfill the success. So what’s going on? How do you align both? How do you align both for success?
A huge red flag proves that she needs to be in better touch with herself and understand on a deeper level what she really believes, what she feels she truly deserves and what is really important to her. For her, she constantly has to raise her willingness to accept change into the “sweet spot” to experience authentic growth and results.
This surrendering or trusting the process AND being consistent is the key to why we are all here on earth. These actions are the biggest life conquering lessons that unlock our ultimate potential, talents and success.
So, Why Don’t We Do Them?
Well, let’s get back to the word “deserve“. We mentioned this one a few times already. Let’s take a moment and dive a little deeper.
From birth to age 7, we developed all of our core beliefs about life, about who we are and what we deserve. Think back on those years. What were they like?
You may want to be a millionaire, but growing up maybe your mom constantly asked “What’s wrong with you,” every time you did something she didn’t approve of, so without you even being aware of it, you may have created a deep rooted limiting belief that you don’t deserve to be a millionaire because there is something inherently wrong with you. Now, every time you go to make that huge sale or land that big contract, you may self-sabotage yourself to lose it and then immediately think afterwards, “OMG, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?”
See the connection? SCIENCE IN PSYCHOLOGY! We love it. Let’s keep going…
What you are doing is simply protecting yourself by your self-sabotage. You believe that you do not deserve higher levels of success, because there is something wrong with you. So you make sure this deep-rooted belief stays true by creating situations to make it true.
So, how do you find out what your limiting beliefs are?
The easiest way is to PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR INNER DIALOGUE. You know that voice in your head that is constantly narrating your life–giving you your honest perspective about the things happening around you? That voice! Your voice!
As you pay attention to this voice and what it is saying, we challenge you to write down any reoccurring themes. Do you catch yourself saying (in your mind or out loud), “OMG I’m so broke!” or “I’m a horrible parent,” “I could never…” “That won’t happen to me,” “I’m stupid” or “I don’t deserve that because…”
You have just discovered your TRUE belief sets! You believe that you are stupid and you don’t deserve said want. It’s a BELIEF TRUE TO YOU, something you probably picked up from birth to age 7. Even if you “know” you are smart, (maybe you’ve graduated with a master’s degree) your inner dialogue reveals the truth about what you truly believe about yourself and what you are capable of. In turn, self-belief will always give you people and situations to constantly prove that deep-rooted belief. So, how do you change the beliefs about you that you don’t want to hold onto anymore?
Step 1: Be aware of all your limiting beliefs.
You will not change what you do not know. Be aware of your thoughts; forget what others have to say. Start the habit of writing down any negative reoccurring themes, as well as positive ones too. When you catch yourself thinking, “I love how everything always works out for me!” or “I constantly have the best people and job offers come to me and I am so grateful for the abundance of the universe constantly raining success and love everywhere I go!” Then WOW! Write that down as a positive belief set you have. Need help paying attention? Take a neutral temperature shower every morning for 14 days for at least 5 minutes of self-dialogue. I want you to pay attention to your thoughts before, during and after when you think about what you WANT out of your life. This exercise will bring to light ALL of your limiting beliefs in a screaming loud voice!
Step 2: Write down the positive of your negative.
Now that you know what you need help improving on, get out a sheet of paper. On one side of the paper, put down your negative belief. Then, in the same spot on the other side of the paper, put down the positive belief.
Limiting belief: “I can’t be successful, because I didn’t go to college.”
Positive belief: “I am successful, because I constantly showcase my talents, gifts and love to the world in everything I do. People appreciate me and I appreciate the abundance I receive from how I serve the world!”
Write out the positive for ALL of your limiting beliefs. When you catch yourself thinking one of them or saying it out loud – STOP. Thank yourself for bringing this into your awareness, and then immediately say or think the opposite.
Step 3: Live your new truth!
This will take practice! But all amazing things to improve your life will. The difference between failure and success is dedication.
Live your new truth! As you retrain your mind with the beliefs you do want and replace the negative beliefs – you will start to create the life of your dreams, ultimately what I call, the life YOU deserve.
Oprah Winfrey puts it in the best way:
“You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.”
So, find out what you really believe, change what needs changing, raise your “Teach-ability Index” and create the life you deserve starting today!
Need help creating the life you feel you deserve?
Check out our “MENTOR” section and see if one-on-one mentoring is right for you.